"Brain, way beyond racked."

Ineffable.

2012-01-27T22:53:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your own thoughts?

I have way too many things going on up there all at once and I fear I might explode.

Sometimes I wish my brain could be connected to a computer so that I can properly organize everything and delete anything that is a waste of space. That way, I can also have all my thoughts in black and white so that I may know exactly what I'm thinking and why I'm thinking what I'm thinking. It would also make blogging a heck load easier.

God is good, all the time.

2012-01-26T10:16:00.001+08:00

Thank You for everything.

:)

Jolene.

2012-01-22T21:56:00.001+08:00

Your beauty is beyond compare,
with flaming locks of auburn hair,
with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green.
Your smile is like a breath of spring,
your voice is soft like summer rain
and I cannot compete with you, Jolene.

Stage 1.

2012-01-18T20:47:00.001+08:00

Seriously, Jade, you need to get over this, ASAP.

Hello!

2012-01-14T16:56:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to blog more often, I swear, but somehow words just don't seem to flow as smoothly as they used to. That, and also because my life is still the very opposite of fabulous, so I don't really have much to blog about anyway.

I've realized that I have two very elusive posts back to back and I apologize! There are some things that are too difficult to be put into words (given my limited vocabulary) and there are other things that simply cannot- or rather, should not- be said.

I've been having a bit of a mood swing lately. It's funny how one minute I can be fine and then the next, I'd feel like strangling myself. By the way, here's a little trivia for you. Did you know it's impossible to actually strangle yourself to death? Smart, am I not?

Regressing, I've been upset at intervals for the entire week because little misfortunes kept happening to me! You might think I'm being ridiculous for getting upset over something as petty as losing a file when people just across the street might be losing a loved one. ~~In my defence, I didn't actually get very upset over the missing file. I was upset because of many other things as a result of a case of too much thoughts~~. I am not going to justify myself for even I, too, think I can sometimes be a teeny bit silly.

Why I always make a mountain out of an anthill boggles my mind and is way beyond the realm of my comprehension. It's as if my mind finds pleasure in taking something that is simple and maybe even good then twisting and morphing it into something bad and complicated. Le sigh, and still I wonder why I'm constantly in a bad mood. -_-

Isn't it ironic?

2012-01-13T15:43:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what to think now lol.

Oh, a random note: I've downloaded One Direction's album, Up All Night. I like it! They're obviously not as good as Westlife, but I like them.

Kay bye!

On the fence.

2012-01-11T21:35:00.001+08:00

Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your mind?

Vous ne saurez jamais à coup sûr.

Say hello to Day 1.

2012-01-04T23:29:00.001+08:00

Daylight's coming, the sun is blazing, new beginnings seep into you..

This is like standard 1 all over again. Lol. Let's go rock smelly socks! :)

Vent.

2012-01-04T21:55:00.001+08:00

I want to go back to school. I listened to all the stories about school and they left me feeling nostalgic. I want to cry. All these worries about college aren't going away no matter all the assurance I'm getting from my amazingly wonderful friends and cousin. I'm fighting the urge to burst into tears now, I'm not even joking. I don't mind sitting for SPM again, actually. I'm crazy, I'm not in the right state of mind. I shall return once my sanity restores. Please pray I don't jump out of my window or something in the meantime. Thanks.

C'est la vie.

2012-01-04T12:26:00.001+08:00

People will come, people will go; people will forget. We are like mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Hopeful.

2012-01-01T20:14:00.001+08:00

"Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous your future will be."
Job 8:7

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

2012-01-01T00:03:00.001+08:00

Superrr lazy to write anything else lol.

God bless! :D

Of time, college and other unimportant stuff.

2011-12-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

Hello there. Nice to see you again after an eon. It's crazy how fast time flies! It's so easy to lose track of time. High school and SPM both ended in just the blink of an eye and we are now only a mere three days away from the end of the year! Isn't it scary?

Anyway, as all of you well know, I have been bumming around a lot. I am ~~starting to get~~ already bored of my daily routine (which includes eating, pooping, sleeping, and watching TV) and since my brain has been hibernating, I am starting to worry I might fall into the deep abyss of unintelligence.

I seriously need a little excitement to break the monotony of my daily existence. It seems to me that the only thing standing in between myself and the good life is my inability to drive. Woe is me.

On a different note, since time is something that I have in abundance lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking (in a silly way that does not require the brain to work very much and not in the intelligent way). I've been thinking about college and how I actually feel about the change that is going to come.

These few days leading to the start of college- the start of a new phase of my life- is rather bittersweet. (More bitter than sweet, unfortunately.)

On one hand, I cannot wait for the holidays to end because not only am I getting stupid, I am also getting plump, much to my disdain.

On the other hand, though, I feel unprepared to leave all that I know so well behind. I am terrified to step out of my comfort zone. I feel intimidated by the people that I have yet to know but am bound to meet.

I am not very fond of changes, and this is just too huge a change for me. I can't even be excited to begin this entirely new and thoroughly different part of life because of the fear that I feel so frequently of late. The nature of the future, i.e., unpredictable and unknown, is so formidable.

What if people don't like me? What if I'd have to spend the whole year completely and utterly alone? What if I can't keep up with the assignments or the syllabus? What if I don't do well? What if I can't get into Uni? What if I died?

I'm starting to get a bit morbid, aren't I? I guess it's time for this topic to magically change into another. Did you know that Star World now has a channel in HD? :D

Okay see you soon goodbye.

Everything but yet, nothing.

2011-12-27T21:02:00.001+08:00

Gosh, I suck.

Dream a little lucid dream.

2011-12-22T11:46:00.001+08:00

I had an amazing dream last night and I honestly felt like I'd never want to wake up, but of course, I did. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here typing this out, would I? Unless..... I had just woken up from a dream within a dream and I am, in fact, still dreaming.

:O

*pinches self*

Anyways, still dreaming or not, after I brushed my teeth, I found, to my complete and utter horror, that I couldn't remember my wonderful dream anymore.

I tried (really hard) to remember but my efforts were to no avail for nothing at all came to mind. I swear, all the bumming around I've been doing lately is causing my (already short as it is) memory span to deteriorate.

I feel like choking myself, I'm not even kidding.

Although I had read somewhere that it's normal if you can't remember a dream (because the neural connections that produces memories aren't in sync with each other), I still feel like choking myself.

How is it possible for me to remember so vividly those horrifying dreams of monsters vigorously ripping out hearts but not dreams of.. (Har har sorry dude, I'm not telling, so you'd just have to live the rest of your life not knowing this little piece of nonsense.)

Okay, so maybe my efforts weren't totally in vain. I do remember the gist of the dream, but I can't remember the faces of the people that were in it. Neither do I remember what I was doing in the dream, or how the aforementioned dream ended.

I remember how consciousness was slowly seeping into the dream like an evil intruder, or a virus, coming to steal my happiness and everything else that is rightfully mine. I remember shooing the evil one away, begging it to let me have at least five more minutes (or maybe five more hours) of pure bliss.

It didn't work. The intruder was too darn stubborn and too freaking strong for the soldiers of my slumber to ward off.

I remember waking up feeling all warm and fuzzy inside because the dream was still fresh in my mind, and at that moment I could still feel the happiness that I had felt in the dream.

I remember feeling annoyed immediately after that because the incredible dream had to end; disgruntled because I was so brutally thrown back into the abyss and vast chasm of cold, hard actuality; and majorly disappointed because somehow, I know that the dream was merely a dream that will never see reality.

Woe is me. I shall mourn the loss of my dream and the people that were in it and I shall continue doing so until whenever, because it's not like I can go back to sleep now and hope that a Part 2 will commence, right?

On second thought..........

Ouch.

2011-12-20T23:56:00.001+08:00

That hurt more than I thought it would.

Goodnight.

Nothing.

2011-12-20T11:21:00.001+08:00

Trying to think of random stuff to blabber about just for the sake of blogging and regularity.

Aaaand.. I've got nothin'.

Alright, goodbye then.

P.S., I GOT THE SCRIPT'S 'NOTHING' PLAYING INSIDE YOUR HEAD, DIDN'T I? ; D No? Never mind. I'm sure it's in there now. HAH!

So let us live our lives without a doubt.

2011-12-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

When one's thoughts wander and lands itself in a place so far and so foreign; and one can't seem to get one's thoughts back into order.

So one just sits there and let one's horrid thoughts consume one's self whole because one does not know what to do to silence one's thoughts.

Why does the future have to be so freaking unpredictable and scary?

Chew chew swallow.

2011-12-16T21:20:00.000+08:00

I kinda sorta ate a meal enough for fifty men with pot bellies, alone.

(Disclaimer: I might or might not have exaggerated a bit.)

OMG WHAT IS THIS GLUTTONY T.T

Hello.

2011-12-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

Whoa, second post of the day! *claps* Congratulations, Jade! Lol. At least I'm trying to make up for all the neglecting, okay?

Today was a little crazy for me. I had a lot of good moments and a lot of not-so-good moments all rolled up into a big ball of tangled yarn. Cuhrayzehh.

I had a great time with the friends at AEON, an otherwise boring place. That's good.

I also bumped into two of my other friends. The first was someone I haven't spoken to in ages and it kinda made us both realize how much we still want to be friends lol. The second was a realllyyyy good friend whom I haven't seen since 5th December, the day high school officially ended. I miss her and all our silly acts together like crazy! We ended up talking for a really long time because we're just freaking awesome like that lol.

Other good moments include watching a nice movie after ages of depriving myself from the joys of going to the cinema and also taking a group picture that I actually really like. (I usually look like crap in group pictures, and it's rare for me to actually like a picture taken with other people in it with me so just let me have my moment and bear with this vanity for a bit please and thank you hehe.)

One of the not-so-good moments is my driving lesson today. I thought I was a pro at driving after my first lesson but hello, after this second one, apparently not! I really suck. I got honked at and my engine died- TWICE, while I was on the road! I took ages to start moving after a red light turns green and I was afraid the drivers behind me would come out and yell at me or something. Also, it was so embarrassing to have large tractors overtake me at the slow lane. Driving was so mentally exhausting and the humongous vehicles were so intimidating. I've decided that driving is no longer fun.

Other bad (I've just decided to screw trying to sound a little more optimistic by typing "not-so-good" instead of "bad" because it's shorter and auto-correct kept thinking I actually meant to type "do" when I type "so" and therefore the "so" keeps getting changed by itself- like it's haunted.) moments are all the times I PMS-ed today. Har har.

My description of these moments are quite vague and I'm pretty sure that to you, it doesn't seem like it rolls into a big ball of tangled yarn at all, but I'm also pretty sure you don't live inside my head, so you wouldn't know what I mean.

Okay, now I'm really drained and I honestly can't be bothered with a last witty line to end this boring post about my equally boring life.

Whatever, I'm going to bed. Goodnight!

Zemblanity.

2011-12-13T20:16:00.001+08:00

I find myself to be constantly at a loss for words lately.

Sloth rules.

2011-12-12T18:49:00.000+08:00

I think I should really start blogging regularly. I used to love writing about anything and everything under the sun but I've gotten so lazy over the year.

Lately, I just can't be bothered with anything that I have to put effort in T.T
If it requires work being done, well then I can forget about it.

I'm too lazy to read, too lazy to write, too lazy to think, to lazy to walk downstairs to get snacks even though I'm craving Pringles right now.

The only.. uh, activities I can muster enough energy and willpower for is joining my fellow comrades in the world of the Internet (I'm being very serious when I say that other than talking to people, I don't do anything else online anymore. I don't even go to YouTube nowadays because I'm way to lazy to wait a millennium for a video to buffer. Thus is the sad life of a sloth that has terrible Internet connection) and to watch TV. Also, I sleep and I eat. The latter more than the former. Here's to gaining weight with joy. *clinks glass*

Howeverrrrr, believe it or not, I actually did try to blog a few times before this, but none of what I'd written was worthy of being published for the world to see.

I swear, SPM has eaten away most part of me- my (very little bit of) intelligence, my willpower, my energy and my creative juices (they had either run dry or were sucked up by SPM) among other things. The only thing that still remains (and have doubled, at that!) is my laziness. T.T

People say that as you grow older, you also grow wiser. I think for me it's the complete and total opposite. I don't even know what to do with my life anymore T.T

~~I promise~~ I guess I'll try to stimulate my brain (that's already rusted) by blogging more often because I really wouldn't want to be the dumb one in class next year.

I should also use what's left of me to do more physical exercises because I also wouldn't want to be the fat one in class next year.

Untitled.

2011-12-08T13:39:00.001+08:00

I think it's wrong for me to get annoyed over things like these. I really shouldn't. But I am. Does that make me a bad person?

Everyday I'm shuffling.

2011-12-06T17:07:00.001+08:00

I'm doing this because Alycia kept bugging me to. Lol. She thinks I should stop my little bloggity thing from dying a slow and painful death, now that SPM is over.

Oh, yes. SPM IS OVERZ. *pops confetti*
And I'm officially out of high school!

I've also registered for college already.

So crazyyyyy.

Everything is still quite surreal to me so I'm not quite sure what to think about that yet. It shall be a topic for another day.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT FARTS TO WRITE ABOUT ANYMORE.

Okay bye.

I like flapping flippers.. (Butnotreally)

2011-11-27T23:18:00.001+08:00

Girl, you don't have to cuss.

It's like you're deliberately trying to fit that particularly foul word (that starts with an F and rhymes with schmuck) into all your sentences.

No, it does not make you sound cool and it definitely does not make you a nice person.

Just saying.

BA-DUM-TSSSS

2011-11-14T18:33:00.001+08:00

One down, nine more to go! :)

All the best, SPM-ers!

I am overwhelmed by Your grace and goodness. Thank You, God.

Lots of loveeee! <3

Two hours of sleep= -120 minutes of studying.

2011-11-11T22:27:00.001+08:00

It was 2200 and I was studying. I might or might not have sniffed a little as my mum was walking pass.

Mum: "Why are you sniffing? Maybe you should go to bed now."

Uh........... MOTHER DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE SPM IS IN TWO DAYS I CANNOT SLEEP AT TEN.

Here's to fighting fatigue! *clinks glass* *pops confetti* :D

*slits wrist* *jumps off cliff*

Fact #1:

2011-10-27T13:45:00.001+08:00

I suck.... Big time.

Goodbye.

Exaaaactly.

2011-10-25T09:18:00.001+08:00

Signs of old age #1:

2011-10-24T23:02:00.001+08:00

Making a mental note to do something but three seconds later forgetting what that something was.

I swear sometimes I feel like my brain is 80 years old.

Scareh.

STORY. OF. MY. LIFEEE.

2011-10-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

WOE.

2011-10-21T22:17:00.004+08:00

23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23. 23.

I can't seem to get that frickin' number out of my head. I want to just run around and hope I bang into walls or something.

23 more days to SPM, wtcrap? I am doomed. Doomed for eternity. Not even joking, not even exaggerating.

Trust me, I know how gross it is to deactivate my Facebook account again, so I actually told myself I won't anymore, lest I be branded pathetic or something equally as sad.

Howeverrrrrr, desperate times call for desperate measures and frankly, I am so desperate right now it makes Bree Van De Kamp laugh.

You cannot imagine how upset I am with myself. Disappointed to the hundredth degree, really. I haven't been studying at all.

Heck, all I do is loll around and watch the telly. I suck so badly. No, that is a massive understatement.

Fret not, though, for every problem there is a solution.

I will remove basically anything that can possibly steal away my time with the books. Determination, yo! >=)

Ugh, I can't even study now, because I have to prepare for Undang tomorrow.

GOODBYE.

What you need to know to pass Undang according to 16 year-old Alycia (who ~~does not know how to drive~~ knows how to drive, but just doesn't get behind the wheels) : "Wear your seatbelt, red means stop, don't flick the finger at slow drivers and say no to smoking.

Death.

2011-10-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

I figured, since I'm already here, I might as well.

My thoughts are kind of in a mess right now and since I'm just typing out everything that is at the top of my mind, this post will most likely be a little messed up, too.

Recently (on the 17th of October, to be precise) a 16 year old boy from La Salle passed away.

I'm not sure exactly how he died but I heard that he had Leukemia and that he fainted in the school toilet.

It's really scary how in just a mere second, everything can change. Everything can be taken away from you, just like *snaps* that.

One minute you have a life to live and then the next you just.. don't.

We tend to take life for granted. Often times, we don't actually realize how precious life is. We sometimes forget to stop and just appreciate the things we have.

I can't help but wonder, what if it were me? What if I were robbed of my future? What if I don't get the chance to grow old, to love and be loved?

It frightens me terribly to think that I might not have the opportunity to get married, to have a job, to raise children and et cetera.

16 years is just.. too short. So many things not seen, so many things not felt, so much experience not gained...

People often say that one gets really famous after one passes away. It's true. I didn't even know the guy existed before this but now, he's the main topic of conversation here in Klang.

I wonder what was on his mind before he passed. I wonder if the possibility of him dying so young ever crossed his mind. I wonder how he felt about life. I wonder how high his hopes were for the future.

I wonder what would be on my mind when my time comes. I wonder how people would feel about my passing and I wonder if people would remember me in the years to come.

I wonder how I will be able to pull off faking my own death just to see who really cares.

I should really stop procrastinating. I should also stop complaining about how much my life sucks (even though I'm actually pretty fortunate).

I should also really try to study now.

WESTLIFE!

2011-10-20T20:13:00.001+08:00

I know I said that I was going to take a leave of absence from blogging but this is way too important to not blog about now!

Woe is the entire world, for after 14 wonderful years and all the lovely songs, Westlife is disbanding.

THE HORROR!

Westlife is and will forever be the most amazing boyband in the entire Universe. No 1Direction (or whatever) can ever ever ever live up to Westlife!

You will be dearly missed. You (and your music) will always be alive in our hearts.

I am too depressed to say any more.

Goodbye, I shall be drowning myself in Westlife tonight.

I'll see you (soon)!

2011-10-18T23:45:00.001+08:00

Greetings, world.. (of a few bored-to-death teenagers who still come here to read my crap!)

I really don't have anything important to say. (Then again, when do I ever actually have anything important to say?)

I just want to assure anyone who is even the slightest bit curious about my well-being that I am, indeed, still alive and kickin'! :D

I also want to announce my plans to go on hiatus for a little while until I'm done and over with my exams.

I'm feeling exceptionally useless these days because I have exactly 26 days left but I'm still slacking like there's a million tomorrows.

While my fellow friends are busy studying their butts off, I'm just sitting here wondering when on Earth am I going to stop being so freaking lazy.

Ugh, so annoyed with self right now, it's not even funny. I'm going to go study now. Or maybe I will go bang walls (and by "bang walls" I really mean "hit the sack".)

~~Farewell!~~

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting."
-Peter Pan.

This exhaustion is getting to me.

2011-10-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

Please allow me to be ~~frank~~ Jade. I don't really give a flipping fishcake about anything anymore.

I don't care about the school yearbook, or my swollen arm, or Accounts, or leaving school.. Truth be told, everything is so screwed up, I gave up trying to make things better already.

Anyways, from here on forth, no matter how bad a mood I'm in, I will not show it in front of anybody. Of course, I'd spill things here (because if I don't get it out of my system, I will explode) but from today onward I'm going to feed people's eyes with smiles so fake one would puke in one's sleep.

That is because when I'm in a bad mood I say things I don't mean and I do things I won't normally do thus I might accidentally upset people I don't want to upset.

Ahh, screw the world.

I'm really sorry I'm like this tonight. I am in a foul mood and this is to keep me from bursting into tears.

I can't even study now because of how frustrated I'm letting myself get and my not being able to study is making me even more frustrated than I already am.

Whatever, here is a smiley for you --> ☺.

No? Oh, would you prefer something else? Like maybe, um..

*shows fist*

Goodnight.

Friend #1: Mithra Susan Simon.

2011-10-12T00:20:00.004+08:00

We've sort of graduated from high school and pretty soon we'd be leaving. One of the reasons why I don't want to leave high school is because I love my friends but I know that once we all go our separate ways, we'd start to forget. Therefore I am doing.. this, just for fun and also so that I can look back at this in the years to come and I would be reminded of all the awesome people that I had around me.

Mithra is normally the first person I would call when I need to rant. I just spoke to her on the phone to talk about how much I dread tomorrow LOL.

Mia, you're one of my very best friends. You are probably one who understands me most. I can talk to you about anything and everything under the sun.

I can tell you things I don't feel comfortable telling anyone, and I can trust you not to blab to anyone else. I also feel that you're one of the very few who won't judge me based on what I tell you. Even if you do, you do it very discreetly and I don't see it so.. lol.

Thank you so so much for forever being patient with me. You were always there for me whenever I needed you. You listened to me whine (about the silliest things!) and no matter how annoying I got, you never told me off. Instead, you told me you understood how I felt and then you told me your own stories so I won't feel as bad.

You never failed to make me laugh! Upset or not, talking to you always left me in a happier mood. You cracked me up either with your funny stories or with the way you told your not-so-funny stories.

We were closer last year and we used to call each other so often! This year, because of the different cliques we are in, we don't spend as much time together anymore. You are still the first person I call when I need someone to talk to, though. This is how important you are to me and I don't think I want that to ever change.

I will really miss all the times we laughed and were crazy together. You are, no doubt, one of the most psycho person I know but that's why you are so much fun to be around. ♥

I hope we'll still be friends after high school. I'll call you often over the next fifty years so you'd never forget me. I'd bug you soo much you'd wish I were dead. Hehe.

When you're old and grey you can tell your children and grandchildren (and cats, if you want) about this annoying Chainis girl who would not leave you alone.

I love how pretty, smart, funny and crazy you are, I love how much you love cats (Amber in particular) and I love what a good listener you are. I just love you in general, okay? If you didn't know that then you suck :P

You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
and I'll be there.
I know when I need it I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
and you'll be there,
cause that's what friends are supposed to do ;)
♬ Count On Me - Bruno Mars.

Here comes the yearbook.

2011-10-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

The school yearbook is done. As in, everything is printed and ready to be distributed. Tomorrow.

And I want to bury myself.

I don't know how to say it, exactly. Even if I knew, I don't think I can make people understand.

Which is why I feel like banging walls right now.

You see, I've never in a million years thought I would be the editor-in-chief of the school yearbook.

I was never one to stand out in school. I was just a girl with average results and I was never ultra active in co-curricular activities. I was neither the best nor the worst at anything. I was always floating in the middle, therefore people in school (teachers and students) hardly know me.

When I was called to the Bilik Wawasan (this is sort of an important room for major meetings and such) with Chin Ying by Miss V (she's.. different- enough said.) we freaked out.

While we were walking down what felt like the longest corridor in the world, we tried to recall what we've ever done that might land us even the slightest bit of trouble.

Lol, it's really funny. Chin Ying came up with the sillest things. She thought it was because we didn't hand in our scripts for our oral tests.

We stepped into the room where we were asked if we were willing to be in charge of the school yearbook. If you understood our situation with Miss V in year 2010, you'd understand why we needed some time to think about it. (Please keep in mind that Miss V is rather different.)

I thought about the matter over and over and at that point in time I thought there were more pros than cons. It was really an honour for someone like me to be chosen by a teacher like her. Besides, there's the experience and all that jazz. So, I agreed.

It was one of the greatest mistakes I've ever made. (Okay, I know God doesn't make mistakes. And I wouldn't undo anything even if I could. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Besides, there were some good that came out of being the editor.)

But anyway, my life, ever since then, was just a major mess. I had to juggle way too many things all at once and I had responsibilities that were way too great for my shoulders to carry.

People may not see it but trust me, I felt it. I had to stay up almost every night to meet datelines, and I was scolded almost every other day.

I was not allowed to do a lot of things, including skipping school but the scariest one was that I was not allowed to make mistakes.

I got so close to quitting many many times and Joan was one who knew. I shared with her because she was usually the only one still awake at 0300 while I was trying to meet datelines. I would complain and rant and ramble on about how I could not take it anymore. She was also the president of the choir club in school, so she sort of understood how I felt.

I held on by the thinnest thread because I didn't want to just give up after I've done so much. Little did I know that "so much" doubled every single time I decided to hold on.

So whatever, I was kind of indifferent about the whole thing after a while. I was numb because at that point I really didn't care if I got fired.

Finally, the yearbook was done and sent to be printed. My life = pure bliss. I was free- at least for a while.

Then the dummy copy came. I was excited and happy and proud. After all my hard work, my sleepless nights, the yelling I had to take... the product was here.

I had to edit the whole freaking thing by myself, as usual but that didn't get to me at all. I was just kinda grossed out because my face in every single picture was crap, but I didn't have time to dwell on that. I only had one day to edit the whole thing.

A week after I was done editing, I had a dream- or rather, a nightmare. In that nightmare, the whole school got their yearbooks and everyone was not happy with it. Some were yelling because there were mistakes, some were annoyed by God-knows-what and some were laughing. At. My. Face.

I woke up feeling like crap.

I couldn't think about the yearbook AT ALL after that. If you didn't know, I can get quite insecure with the way I look and that was just......

So yeah, that is sort of why I feel like cow dunk about tomorrow.

I knew you wouldn't understand -_-

Ugh.

I'll get over this sometime soon but right now I will just keep hoping the Editorial Board room catches fire or something.

Le moon and le ring.

2011-10-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

Everyone was talking about how pretty the moon was while I was just sitting on the bed debating with myself whether or not I should pick my lazy ass up to go see it.

The benefits of having frosted windows:
1) People outside definitely will not be able to see you while you're shuffling to Party Rock Anthem.
2) You can rest assured you will not be spied on by anybody while you're changing.

The downside of having frosted windows:
1) You have to use all your willpower and strength to get downstairs, unlock the dead bolts, open the door and step outside just so you can see the moon.

But I tell you, anyone who missed this pretty sight due to laziness if a fool to the hundredth degree.

Things like these shall never be considered overrated.

Can you see what I see? The moon is beautiful and so are you :) Eeek, so cornyy lol :P

I'm just thinking out loud but wouldn't it be extremely romantic if someone proposes tonight? She will have the biggest and prettiest ring in the world. Ahh, how wonderful a man I would be with my amazing ideas. Lol joke.

Oh yes, sharing is caring! Just in case you're like me and you get fascinated by things like these, here is something you might want to read. It's about the moon and all that jazz.

Dancin' in the moonlight,
Everybody feelin' warm and right,
It's such a fine and natural sight,
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight.
- King Harvest

I stand amazed by Your greatness :)

Rotten tomatoes blended with smelly celery.

2011-10-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

This constant over-thinking will be the death of me, if second-guessing everything doesn't eat me up first.

Tonight, I am in one of those really horrid moods where I dislike just about everything and I wallow in self-pity so much, it's disgustingly pathetic.

This must be due to the sleep that I have not been getting enough of. Either that, or it's my present-menstrual syndrome.

I really want to rant, to get things off my head and my chest, but since I dislike just about everything including people... I only have myself to pour my heart out to.

Woe is me. Maybe I should just hit the sack now to make up for my lack of sleep.

Of Westlife and graduation!

2011-10-08T16:46:00.000+08:00

These past two days have been cuhrayzehh.

I started Friday off at 0700, looking like a zombie because I had trouble sleeping the night before and ended up dozing off only at about 0330.

Anyways, I got ready and just moped around while waiting for Joan and her brother to come pick me up. Her brother had to go for classes (or whatever) so Joan and I went to the library of Sunway University to study.

After two hours we walked over to Sunway Pyramid where we ate a bomb for lunch. Then we went to SS15 for more food, dear goodness. Soon, it was time to go.

Where, I hear you ask, were we headed to?
Putra Stadium!
For what?
WEEESSSTTTLIIIIIFEEE!!

I was super excited because Westlife is beyond awesome and I really wanted to see them.

Anyway, we got to the stadium at about 1730 and there was a queue already. We waited in line (on our feet because there were killer red ants crawling all over the ground just waiting to eat us up whole) for hoouuuurssss until 1930.

The concert was... awesome. All four of them were amazing live. I love Westlife so much more now.

Halfway through the concert a guy proposed to his girlfriend, and Westlife serenaded that silly woman with 'My Love'.

I called her silly because she just got engaged yet she kept hugging all FOUR of them, REPEATEDLY. I was bitter to the point of throwing my shoes at her. I kid you not.

I really wouldn't mind getting engaged to that man if I get to hug all four of them (especially Nicky) and have them all sing to me. I might dump that man the next day, but that is besides the point. Hahaha, kidding kidding.

Anyways, after the concert I went to Joan's place for a sleepover. We slept at 0330 and woke up at 0700 this morning because we had our high school graduation.

Graduation was boring, but the hanging around and taking pictures with everyone was fun fun fun.

It's really funny how we've already graduated but we would still have to go back to school next week. It's even funnier how we still have SPM in November.

What and how I feel about graduating is a story for another time because I'm just not in the mood to talk about that right now.

PS I can't believe I slept at 0330 and woke up at 0700, twice. What sort of sleep-deprivation is this.

Joanie!

Tickets :)

Hehehehehehe Westlife ♥♥♥

Joan and Azelia.

This morning during graduation!

I had Lilian beside me, doing all sorts of nonsense with me

while some random woman gave her speech.

The Canteen Gang <3

I have a love-hate relationship with my Internet connection.

2011-10-05T22:51:00.001+08:00

You are forever failing me -.- Mentally cutting, slicing, punching and eating you right now!

Ah, but then again, without you my life would be just a shell of nothingness, sadder than it already is.

Sigh, to cut/slice/punch/eat or not to cut/slice/punch/eat, that is the question.

Today, I survived the wrath of the hugest cockroach on Earth.

2011-10-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

I was happily brushing my teeth when suddenly, my left foot felt a little tingly. I didn't have my glasses on so it took me a while to realize what that huge patch of brown on my foot was.

I freaked out, but I managed to kill the gigantic beast without hurting myself. It is currently lying dead on the bathroom floor because I refuse to lay a finger on it.

I'm still currently in shock. I cannot believe I was attacked by a hugeass cockroach in my own home. It frickin' crawled over my foot.. *shudders* I am traumatized for life.

I couldn't even scream because there was foam in my mouth, dear goodness.

Woe is me T.T

No, woe is the cockroach whose life I so brutally ended >=)

Pssshhh, this is what I get when I decide to turn in early for once.

(Disclaimer: I might have exaggerated a little on the size of the roach, but it was still huge nonetheless and I could have died.. or something.)

Confession #25: I am afraid of what the future holds.

2011-10-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

Days are going by so very very quickly. I can't really live a day to the fullest because it's as if time is taking me by the hand, forcefully and mercilessly pulling me along with it as it rushes on.

I cannot just sit and dwell on all the many wonders of the world nor can I stand and dwell on the sadness that I feel so frequently of late. I find myself having to move on involuntarily.

That being said, with each passing day, I am an inch closer to the three-letter-horror that is the biggest exam of my entire high school life.

To say I am extremely worried would be a massive understatement. I am constantly thinking of how I can improve myself, since my trial results isn't exactly what one would consider excellent.

I remember how worried I was for PMR two years ago. I would often get nightmares of not being able to finish my paper, or just failing every subject. I am not even kidding. I foresee that these terribly horrible nightmares are coming to visit again soon.

Speaking of three-letter-horrors, I find it a teeny bit annoying when people (especially those who have already sat for SPM) tell me how SPM isn't really all that important. They would say it's just a normal exam and when you go to college or university, you'll know how petty SPM really is. They will then proceed to tell me not to worry too much and all that jazz.

I understand how the SPM certificate can't do one much good, it can't bring one very far. It is merely a "passport to enter college". However, at this moment, while I'm still here in high school only a mere month away from sitting for it, it is sort of a big deal. Just like how PMR was a really big deal to me when I was 15 even though now I can see that it really was nothing.

By the way, did you know I worked my butt off for PMR? Those aforementioned nightmares scared me to death, and I think they kind of made me study so much harder than I normally would. I literally carried a book everywhere I went for an entire month, and the computer went untouched until the day PMR ended. The straight line of A's that I saw on my result slip was the best feeling in the whole entire universe. So proud of self!

You know what, on second thought, I think I want those nightmares to come now, LOL.

I think I actually wouldn't really mind if I don't do so well for SPM, just as long as I have those 6 credits to get into college. What I really mind is having to tell people my not-so-good results whenever they ask (and trust me when I say people will definitely ask.)

I mean, I want to be able to proudly say out my results and beam with pride and yada yada instead of shyly whispering and trying to avoid eye contact because you know they'd be looking at you with sympathy or some similar shizz like that. You'd know they would be trying hard to think of what to say to that or what to do.

Deep inside, they'll judge. They would think to themselves how their smart friend's daughter didn't take after his genes. *shoots self*

Anyways, that aside, I am very very worried about college, too! I can't decide on which college I should go to, or which Pre-U I should take, or what I want to do in the future.

Maybe I should just work as a salesgirl in that 5 bucks shop in AEON :'( "Lima ringgit semua barang, lima ringgit semua barang" *slits wrists* Or maybe I should just sit at home and rot.

Ahhh, I really just don't want to leave high school, okay?! *avoids rotten tomatoes* I know many who are on the edge of their seat, just waiting to put high school behind them forever but I just want to stay here, where I am most comfortable, where I have friends who know me well and who love me (I hope).

I don't want to "move on" to a place that is so foreign, where I would have to start from nothing. I would know no one and I would be judged by people who don't know me.

I will miss the people so so so much. My friends, (some of) the teachers and et cetera. Zie is naive enough to think we (the 5D gang) will all still be close friends till we all turn fifty but I know that's hardly how things go.

I'll bet an ice-cream truck we'd definitely lose contact in the years to come, since everyone is going to different places. You call it being cynical and pessimistic, I call it being logical and realistic.

I'm not going to hold on to vain hopes. Expectations often does not align with reality and the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. I'm merely being a wise-ass.

Ugh, I just detest everything about graduating from high school.

Double ugh, I am so afraid of the future and what it holds for me.

For now, I will trust in Him, for I know that he has good plans for me.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

#25: One of those days..

2011-10-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

When you can't describe exactly how or what you are feeling because it's just ineffable.

Redundant.

2011-09-30T20:12:00.000+08:00

I am constantly amazed by how good I am at doubting everything.

Astonished, really. Every single time, for every single thing, without fail.

And I always wonder why I'm frequently in a bad mood -.-

Pops confetti

2011-09-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

Yay, SPM trials are officially over :)

Time to celebrate before I have to start studying for the real thing :/

It comes but then it goes.

2011-09-28T19:14:00.000+08:00

And the going part kind of sucks.

Hello!

2011-09-28T19:12:00.002+08:00

Kathryn commanded that my blog be resurrected, so at her command, it has been done! This thing is now alive and kicking, at least just for a little while :)

I am extremely sorry for my unannounced hiatus.

I would really like to say that I've been studying really hard for my exams but then I'd be lying and liars die faster. (Disclaimer: That might or might not be necessarily true.)

But then again, a little inaccuracy sometimes saves a lot of explanation, so yes, I guess I've been *clears throat* very busy studying.

I've also been neglecting this thing because I don't really have much to say anymore.

I realized I haven't had extremely long rants in YONGS. Either my temper has improved drastically or I just can't be bothered with anything else other than my exams.

Right. Now I have to stop procrastinating, gotta go study for my Physics paper tomorrow.

Sparring with the brother.

2011-09-20T20:50:00.001+08:00

I forgot how it started exactly, but it ended with this..

Brother: You will never find a husband if you're like that!
Me: GASSSPPP. AND NOBODY WILL EVER WANT YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE GAY CAUSE YOU SUCK.

And then I walked away with pride teehee.

When we were much much younger, I used to be able to bully him into doing anything I wanted. As we get older, my special ability to get him to even listen to me slowly dissipitated.

I used to be able to just sit on him if he made me upset. Now, I dare not even hit him because he's capable of hauling me to the bin if I did.

Oh well, family quarrels aside, I really love my brother.

Also, texting him when in fact we're both sitting under the same roof is a complete waste of money but fun nonetheless.

Goodbye!

The opposite of joy #123

2011-09-18T18:20:00.001+08:00

So, I was wrong, the unfortunate streak prevails.

I guess I jinxed it.

End.

Untitled.

2011-09-18T17:50:00.009+08:00

I have got way too many thoughts in this pea-brain of mine, all at the same time. Everything is a mess up there and I can't seem to sort anything out.

That aside, I know for sure that I'm going to do so badly for my Biology paper tomorrow. It's 1740 and I'm not even relatively close to finishing.

The possibility of getting an A (or even just an A-) is quite far-fetched.

Le sigh.

Time for me to ~~wallow in my misery~~ get back to studying.

Note: One paragraph is missing. I made it disappear. Goodbye! :)

Joy #123

2011-09-17T21:38:00.002+08:00

I think it's probably safe to say that that unfortunate streak has come to pass, thank God :)

Sitting down.

2011-09-15T09:14:00.000+08:00

Me: Gosh, you're so lame, I can't stand it! (Pun intended.)
Brother: Then don't stand, sit down..

-______________-

I don't think we're related lolol.

Additional Mathematics. faints

2011-09-14T03:17:00.005+08:00

I am more than just a little stressed up for my Add Maths paper tomorrow (or rather, later, if you want to get technical.)

I tried to study, but I kept getting distracted by my bed, my phone, the tablet and.. the bed.

Yeah, I was quite frustrated for a while, because I realized how badly I actually suck at Add Maths and all that.

I tried doing a paper from a random boarding school somewhere and much to my horror and utter dismay, I couldn't answer half of the questions asked..

I literally sat and stared at the paper for minutes thinking if I should just give up, screw the whole thing and go to my bed (it has been deprived of my attention for way too long.)

I didn't want to quit though.. I felt extremely lazy and tired and useless but I really didn't want to screw trials over like that..

I decided to pick my books and my lazy butt up and hauled everything downstairs, where I mentally locked myself in my imaginary corner.

Lol, I was in the living room, where I had no phone, no bed and no air conditioning. Just me, my books and pure silence.

I felt completely alone and miserable, but at least productivity increased tenfold.

So yeap, I hung on by a thread and I managed to finish the paper, though I referred to the answer sheet for practically every question lol.

I also made the mosquitoes extremely happy. I can assure you that they were well fed.

It is 0300 now, and I am going to bed. Goodnight.

♬ Without you.

2011-09-11T23:34:00.001+08:00

Just get rid of the fear, promise that I'm here,

I'll never be gone.

So baby come with me,

We can fly away, we can watch the stars shine.

Hold on, I promise it gets brighter,

And when it rains, I'll hold you even tighter,

I won't go another day without you.

-AJ Rafael

I never thought silence could be quite this loud.

2011-09-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

End.

Adults and their FAQs.

2011-09-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

Went to my dad's friend's place today because.. uh, I'm really not sure why we went, probably just for fun.

Don't give two hoots about that, the point is, there were a bunch of adults there, and when a bunch of adults gather with a helpless teenager in the midst, there are bound to be questions.

FAQs:
1. So, what do you want to do in the future?

2. So, do you have a boyfriend?

Obviously there are other questions (ohh, trust me on this one) but those two are not only the most commonly asked by Chinese aunties and uncles, those are also the most annoying questions in the history of all annoying questions.

The first question is rather irritable because I haven't actually figured out what I really want to do yet, and when I tell them that, you can see that they automatically form several conclusions in their minds.

They would most probably be thinking:
a) She's probably not very bright.
b) She probably doesn't really care about anything other than her hair.
c) This girl doesn't have a direction in life..
d) She'll probably end up a failure.
e) All of the above.

Okay fellow adults, what I want is to be happily successful (and that also means being wealthy lol) in the future. My mere problem is that I am not exactly sure how or what I shall do to achieve my happy success.

Anyways, my mum interjected and said something about college and all that jazz, to which I elaborated about my preferences and such.

I spoke (as smartly as I possibly could) about how I am thinking about doing AUSMAT in Sunway. I told them the reasons why I think that is the best choice for me so far.

This topic of conversation would usually just come to a halt after a few more education-related questions.

The second question is just -.- dot dot dodity dot.

You guys are just sticking your noses into that because you're curious, not because you care or anything like that, so I really didn't want to entertain you by feeding your curiosity.

It's extra annoying when you ask me that question right in front of my parents. I look at my mother's face, and she would have her "hmm, interesting question. I would like to hear your answer to that.." face.

What's even more annoying is their response to my answer.

Old people: So, do you have a boyfriend? *raises eyebrows*
Me: *laughs* No.
Old people: Aish, don't lie.
Me: .................................................
Mum: *tries searching my face for any signs of falsity*
Old people: Your mum and dad are here, so of course you won't dare tell! *raises friggin' eyebrows higher*

At that point, I really wanted to just ignore the lady and go pee or something... but instead, I laughed it off and made a remark about Klang guys, hoping the subject would drop. Then I went to pee because I really needed to.

Maybe I am just so annoyed with everything because I really am having PMS.

Forever hated on.

2011-09-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

The heck is wrong with my connection these days -.-

I will cut you, I swear.

Of PMS.

2011-09-10T00:49:00.003+08:00

I think I have PMS all the time. I have pre-menstrual syndrome, I have post-menstrual syndrome..

Jynwaye: And I have present-menstrual syndrome.

Sho happeh :')

2011-09-07T18:15:00.003+08:00

♬ And I don't know how it gets better than this..

Vous.

2011-09-06T21:06:00.001+08:00

AND YOU SHALL BE MY INSPIRATION TOMORROW ;)

I reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy wanna do super duper well for English this time.
I need my creative juices to flow like nobody's business.

Of deactivating temptations.

2011-09-06T20:56:00.002+08:00

I am virtually incapable of resisting temptation, therefore I have resolved to removing the temptation altogether.

Facebook will be reactivated after trials. Or just after my Historeh paper. Lol. We'll see.

I don't know if it will make much difference, since I'll still be alive on Twitter.. But ahh, one less temptation, I guess?

Le sigh, I really need to studeh.

Yeah yeah, I know I'm so disgusting for deactivating my Facebook.. I just want to see if it'll help in any way. If it doesn't I'll just reactivate it, no biggie.

Goodbye :)

P.S. Just so you know, I literally sat here staring at the "deactivate now" button for a few minutes, wondering if what I was about to do was, in fact, the right thing to do. Then I heard a little voice say, "Flapping flippers, it's just Facebook, not a puppy."

Magic.

2011-09-04T02:20:00.000+08:00

Oh my holy Heaven!

Is it just me, or is my sidebar miraculously back to where it's supposed to be (at the side, duh, it's called a SIDEbar not a BOTTOMbar)

I'm so friggin' ecstatic right now.

Proud of self :)

2011-09-04T02:10:00.003+08:00

I'm so proud of myself for actually sticking true to my word :)

I've been telling myself not to get upset over the pettiest things that doesn't actually directly concern me (lol) and right now I'm quite calm about this matter that would normally bug the flipping fishcakes out of me.

Told you I wouldn't care much anymore :D (Noh, actually I still do care, I'm just choosing to ignore it, wazzahh :D)

I also think I can be quite a good actress when I really put my mind to it. If all else fails, at least I will always have this to fall back on lol wtcrap.

On a completely different note, though, I'm extremely disappointed with myself for not studying as hard as I really should :/

On another random note, I should really be sleeping right now. It's two in the morning like :O

On a sad note, after a month of break, my piano classes will officially start again tomorrow. Le sigh, I'm so lazehh. I didn't practice my pieces at all this month, and my teacher's gonna slaughter me alive.

On an even sadder note, I super miss choir sobs. Joan, Joey, Ying and I were reminiscing after leaving Adriana's place and it's just really really sad. Everyone gets sad after a meeting of some sort lol.

Leaving on a happy note, I'm not bawling my eyes out because I honestly think I would under normal circumstances. (Normal circumstances being me, PMS-ing. Lol)

Okai bai :D

PS, really miss talking to you, Alycia! So glad you're back safely :)
PPS, thinking of taking away the talking purple box..?

The unwritten commandment.

2011-09-03T00:20:00.001+08:00

Thou shalt not be lazy to wash thy face (and apply fifty million products after) then blame the entire universe for thy pimples.

End.

Ouch.

2011-09-02T23:44:00.002+08:00

Been there, felt that, got over it.

Moment of vanity: I'm awesome like that ;)

Time to get serious?

2011-09-01T22:15:00.001+08:00

Esther left Facebook, then Mithra left Facebook.

Everyone's nerd mode is switched on to the max and I'm still chillin'.

I need to stop getting distracted and focus on what's truly important in life.

Lol wtcrap. Bye.

My fist would really like to meet your face :)

2011-09-01T22:12:00.003+08:00

I suck, but that's okay because you suck, too :)
Just sayin'.

No further explanation or elaboration necessary.

End.

;)

2011-09-01T17:35:00.002+08:00

Nothing bucks up our spirits more than knowing there are people dumber than we are. Except maybe knowing there are lots of them.

Trials in a week tralalalala.

2011-08-29T16:58:00.001+08:00

Everyone is busy studying their buttocks off for trials and I'm still.. Well, I'm here.

I'm slacking way wayyyy too much, and I desperately need to stop!

I don't know why but the importance of trials just hasn't hit me, and I'm worrying.

One more week is all I have...

I have to stop getting distracted.. And I have to stop falling into temptation...

God, I need you. Please, grant me the wisdom to do what is right. Amen.

♬ I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing..

2011-08-28T16:18:00.001+08:00

- I need to studeh.

- History will be the death of me.

- So much to read, so little time..

- The screwed-up layout is so friggin' annoying.

- Have I mentioned how badly I need to study?

- I miss people. Might or might not have specific people in mind lol ;)

- I miss choir. A lot.

- Thinkingtoomuchthinkingtoomuchthinkingtoomuch...

~~#iwillneverbe EssPeeEeSiAiAyElle.~~

My feelings are so...

2011-08-28T00:49:00.000+08:00

.... indefinite?

Yeap, that's all what I wanted to say.

*awkward silence*

Kay bye.

Would you rather..

2011-08-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

Be mediocre at a lot of things, or be amazing at one thing?

Food for thought.

'Ze Birthday.

2011-08-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

Every year, on the 25th August, I "celebrate" this little thing called my birthday. It isn't usually much of a celebration, I just get acknowledged more often than usual lol.

This day is supposed to be special because it's an anniversary of my existence in this world, a reminder of some sort, I guess.

If you love me (cue awwww) then it's a day to be thankful for, because the awesomeness that is me was brought into this world on this day, so that I can grace your life with my presence lol wth.

On the other hand, if you feel negatively towards me, then you'll probably curse this day because the awesome- Meehhh, maybe you'll just feel indifferent about the whole thing, I don't know. LOL.

Personally, I've never really looked forward to my birthdays. Well, maybe except last year, when I was still naive enough to think that somehow, something extraordinary would happen specially for me -.-

Birthdays are never an important thing to me or my family. Lol, sometimes the only thing that makes an ordinary day different from a birthday is a wish (or maybe two). (Yeah, I don't even get birthday cakes sometimes, sobs.)

I know of many who literally go all out to celebrate birthdays. I'll probably only be able to get an extravagant birthday celebration when I'm rich and grown up with my own house and a private pool lol.

Until then, just wishes and a cake (maybe) are the few things I'll get.

Woe is me and my sad life without proper birthdays.

Okay, so last year wasn't all that bad. I like to exaggerate, okay? I need to make my point loud and clear and exaggeration is sometimes a necessity! Haha.

I didn't get a car (well, Jade, maybe that's cause you won't be able to drive it anyways) nor did I get a surprise party (oh dear goodness, Jade, have you no shame?? LOL) but I did have the most wonderful friends to spend the day with.

They did only simple things that might be insignificant in your eyes- heck, they're definitely nothing compared to many others' awesome birthdays, but they mean the world to me <3 :)

This year is a little different.. I kinda looked forward to it because I would seventeen, the legal age to drive hohoho. I still haven't gotten a car, but meh.. that's besides the point.

It is also different because last year I didn't have Suzanne ;) Thank you, baby, for everythingggg :D Your note made me want to bawl my eyeballs out :') In a really good way!

Evelyn baked cupcakes for me and she put them into a really pretty box and wrote a really cute note for me, too! :) Thank you, Evelyn! It meant so much to me, and your cupcakes are extremely yummy!

And the Pitts bought me a prezzie with a really nice card :D

And Dustin sent me a voice clip of him singing Happy Birthday to me. LOL thankies Dus.

And my aunty gave me moneh :D And Daddy bought good food :D

And choir members made my birthday so fun :D And friends wished me and sang for me, and random people wished me, too. And and and....

I'm going to school tomorrow, I really should go to bed.

BOTTOM LINE, THIS TURNED OUT TO BE QUITE A GOOD DAY GOODNIGHT.

PS Going to AEON with my kawans tomorrow <3

My thoughts exactly.

2011-08-23T22:26:00.001+08:00

If you're wondering why my sidebar is at the very bottom, you are not alone. I am very much confused also.

I honestly don't know what happened to the layout of this stupid thing.

I spent agesss trying to fix it but to no avail.

'Ze blogger is so annoying. I didn't even do anything how in the world did it become like this? And I tried practically everythinggg, except mess with the html codes directly because I'm afraid I'd do more harm and screw the entire thing up.

Ugh. Fist to your face, Blogger! FIST TO YOUR FACE HMPH! LOL.

I'm just gonna leave it because, well, I can't be bothered with this already, frankly.

Just for me to write stuff (if I want to) and and for you to read stuff (if you'd like to).

Ignore everything else, please and thankiz ;D

Speaking of birthdays..

2011-08-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

Mehh, titles.

2011-08-21T23:26:00.002+08:00

Expectations don't align with reality. It is directly proportional to disappointment, and disappointment is inversely proportional to happiness. Therefore, the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. The greater the disappointment, the unhappier one will be.

The moral of the story is don't expect anything then the littlest thing can make you happy.

#Proudofself

The bluebird of friggin' sadness and death.

2011-08-21T22:29:00.001+08:00

Friggin' Twitter. Why do I keep going back? -.-

Gets me upset every single time.

Wow.

2011-08-21T22:05:00.003+08:00

♬ What am I supposed to do when I'm all choked up but you're okay? I'm falling to pieces.

Talk is cheap. Talk is oh so very very very very cheap. Like, they're worth about 0.000000000000000002 cents. Maybe even less than that.

♬ Give me a word you can keep..

It boggles the human mind- no, scratch that. It boggles my mind..

This is probably the end of everything.

2011-08-21T21:19:00.006+08:00

I've seriously never had so much drama in my life before. Like.. wow.

And to top it all off, my birthday is coming up! *claps*

I actually thought that for once in my whole entire life my birthday wouldn't suck (because my birthdays always, ALWAYS suck) but now I think this is going to be the worst birthday ever.

Yeap.

I thought that Choir was the best thing about my last year in high school, but.. funny how that turned out, huh?

Lol, noh, that's not fair. I still think it IS the best thing ever. The people, the things we did..

And that :) Everything was way beyond amazing. This is probably just a little smudge in the big picture.

LOLOLOL, I can't believe people actually "liked" my status on Facebook like WHUT. I'm sorry, I guess my intended sarcasm wasn't very obvious. Ugh, yeah, of course it's not obvious, Jado! You can't have sarcasm without the -.- face! Haha!

-___________________________-

/kills self.

#25: One of those days..

2011-08-21T19:23:00.002+08:00

When that particular sad song plays at that particularly sad moment..

Sobs --> Cries--> Bawls friggin' eyeballs out.

:)

2011-08-21T18:42:00.000+08:00

Hahaha LOL :D ... Heh -.-

2011-08-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

Needing to "haha" and "LOL" in a conversation with somebody even though you're annoyed and don't feel like laughing at all because it's not that person's fault your life is miserable and you don't want to make the whole world miserable along with you just because.

WOE IS MY SAD SAD LIFE.

Fear of the unknown.

2011-08-21T17:41:00.002+08:00

-Everything is undefined.

-Two big things are separated only by the thinnest line.

-I don't know anything, therefore I can't do anything.

-If only I could read people's minds.

End.

PS NOH! OF COURSE I WASN'T REFERRING TO SOME GHOST/ALIEN/MONSTER WITH THE TITLE LOL.

#24: One of those days..

2011-08-21T01:30:00.001+08:00

When you feel like the whole world is mad or dissatisfied with you, and you can't do anything (or, rather, don't know what to do) to make things right.

Worst. Feeling. Evaahh.

Stoning.

2011-08-20T23:16:00.007+08:00

Literally sitting here just staring at the four (purple!) walls of Ying's room.

Life's so empty and sad without Twitter sobs.

End.

Lol hi :D

2011-08-20T19:51:00.006+08:00

I removed the previous two posts because.. Well, just because I can.

Peace.

KONEKZION, Y U LIDAT??

2011-08-20T16:36:00.006+08:00

Sigh, I'm so sick of fruitlessly rebooting the modem and refreshing the page a bazillion times in vain hopes that I'll actually be able to see something other than "This webpage is not available"...

When one falls in while the other falls out.

2011-08-19T00:28:00.002+08:00

What do you do when you can't sleep because your thoughts are running as wild as.. Uh, a wild animal?

I'm scared, honestly. Don't ask why, it's just everything..

♬ My friends are a different breed, my friends are everything.

2011-08-18T20:01:00.006+08:00

I love my friends. I might not show it all too well, but I do <3

:)

Through the good and the bad and the ugly,
Whether rich or for poor or for better,
Whether happy or sad or whatever.
Please just remember, even if I'm not there,
I'll always love you, forever and always.

When I was fourteen..

2011-08-18T19:58:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *takes deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I was reading my posts from year 2008. My fourteen-year-old self was.. dot dot dodity dot.

Thank heavens I removed all the posts from when I was extremely stupid and immature. LOL so so glad.

Yeah, I like reading my old post, okay. It's not a big deal, I'm not being a narcissist. I just enjoy doing it, the old me makes the now me happy. Teehee :D

Autophobia :/

2011-08-18T19:40:00.005+08:00

One day, everyone will leave.

End.

♬ But I won't be the one to let you go.

SPM..

2011-08-17T17:39:00.003+08:00

♬ Ooooohh, these times are hard, they're making us crazy..

I love this picture.

Super slow rate of absorption wth.

2011-08-17T16:48:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to study, but I can't seem to concentrate..

I've been staring at the exact same thing for the past five minutes but nothing is entering my brains, much less staying put inside.

Not good, not good at all.

I need some sort of motivation. *runs off to look for chocolates*

Temporary insanity.

2011-08-17T16:31:00.003+08:00

The streak has not been broken, yet. It'll come one day. Sooner rather than later, I presume.

Thissssss!

2011-08-17T12:44:00.001+08:00

WAI AR YU LAIK DIS, JADE??

Hearts.

2011-08-16T23:57:00.002+08:00

*Sends Alycia a couple of hearts*

Aly: All I got was L L L.
Jade: Why can't you see the pretty red hearts?!
Aly: The hearts are too sweet for MSN. Sugar overload.

LOL Alycia :) <3

The aftermath lol.

2011-08-16T21:57:00.000+08:00

Whoa, momentarily pissed as hell lol. Must be having PMS.

A thousand apologies. To everyone else, not to that particular person cause I haven't cooled down completely yet.

So very very tempted to do something but I know I'll regret later cause.. I just do.

People seriously just need to mind their own business.

It's fine if they're concern or something, but if their nose is in someone else's soup out of curiosity, out of spite or just because the soup smells really good, then they need to keep their silly little nose in their own disgusting soup.

First, you're being a busybody. Secondly, you talk about how that business that has nothing to do with you whatsoever pisses you off.

Here's a tip for you: If it pisses you off so much, then how about you stop being a busybody?

Just sayin'.

Extremely angry rant.

2011-08-16T21:35:00.014+08:00

Okay, now I'm really pissed. Lots of anger ahead. Read if you want to, go fly kite if you don't.

You've got to be kidding me, man. What in the friggin' hell is your problem?

Seriously, this is not the first time I feel like punching you in the face -_-

Dude, get this into that stupid little pea-brain of yours, okay?

Just because you're upset or had a bad day does not mean you can take your frustration out on random people.

I'm upset too, but you don't see me throwing a friggin' broccoli at other people just to make everyone feel miserable with me, do you?

Go and get a proper life and suck smelly socks while you're at it. Also, if you'd like, I can let your pretty face feel the hard contours of my fist, or if you prefer, I can let you taste the inside of my shoe.

"Brain, way beyond racked."

Ineffable.

God is good, all the time.

Jolene.

Stage 1.

Hello!

Isn't it ironic?

On the fence.

Say hello to Day 1.

Vent.

C'est la vie.

Hopeful.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

Of time, college and other unimportant stuff.

Everything but yet, nothing.

Dream a little lucid dream.

Ouch.

Nothing.

So let us live our lives without a doubt.

Chew chew swallow.

Hello.

Zemblanity.

Sloth rules.

Untitled.

Everyday I'm shuffling.

I like flapping flippers.. (Butnotreally)

*BA-DUM-TSSSS*

Two hours of sleep= -120 minutes of studying.

Fact #1:

Exaaaactly.

Signs of old age #1:

STORY. OF. MY. LIFEEE.

WOE.

Death.

WESTLIFE!

I'll see you (soon)!

This exhaustion is getting to me.

Friend #1: Mithra Susan Simon.

Here comes the yearbook.

Le moon and le ring.

Rotten tomatoes blended with smelly celery.

Of Westlife and graduation!

I have a love-hate relationship with my Internet connection.

Today, I survived the wrath of the hugest cockroach on Earth.

Confession #25: I am afraid of what the future holds.

#25: One of those days..

Redundant.

*Pops confetti*

It comes but then it goes.

Hello!

Sparring with the brother.

The opposite of joy #123

Untitled.

Joy #123

Sitting down.

Additional Mathematics. *faints*

♬ Without you.

I never thought silence could be quite this loud.

Adults and their FAQs.

Forever hated on.

Of PMS.

Sho happeh :')

Vous.

Of deactivating temptations.

Magic.

Proud of self :)

The unwritten commandment.

Ouch.

Time to get serious?

My fist would really like to meet your face :)

;)

Trials in a week tralalalala.

♬ I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing..

My feelings are so...

Would you rather..

'Ze Birthday.

My thoughts exactly.

Speaking of birthdays..

Mehh, titles.

The bluebird of friggin' sadness and death.

BA-DUM-TSSSS

Pops confetti

Additional Mathematics. faints